The Destined Gilmore Letter
by MatildaHummingbird
Summary: Post Series: When Richard's mother died, Emily found a letter she wasn't pleased with. When she leaves her own letter it just goes to show how alike the Gilmore women really are. WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH MENTIONED! Secondary summary inside.


**Summary: **_It seems every Gilmore Girl in history is destined to leave behind words not spoken – but written, and stored away with never the intent of ever being seen. _

- The house looked bigger then she had ever remembered it being, with keys clutched in her hand she stared up at the doorway feeling unsure, and a tad humbled that despite everything Lorelai was still the one chosen to see to her parents estate.

"It could've easily been Rory."

Her pride and joy, Rory had achieved so much since leaving having undoubtedly become the thriving journalist Lorelai had always envisioned her daughter would be. Emily and Lorelai never agreed on much but they never disagreed about how wonderful Rory is. Rory was an adhesive between the two -a fact Lorelai of course knew. Rory understood her mother, the girl now in her early 30's refusing to fight when Lorelai said she wanted to come to the house alone.

The door clicked open when Lorelai turned the lock; she eased in with a few hesitant steps and closed her eyes from habit. Nothing happened. No unknown maid came to take her coat, no drinks were offered in the living room -everything about the place was different. The scent of cigars could no longer be faintly smelled from the study and the sound of Emily's commanding voice could no longer be heard; asking Lorelai about her week, asking about Rory's school, none that was here now. The house was a ghost. Lorelai realized this and she took a deep breathe shaking her head – she didn't cry at the service she sure as hell wasn't going to cry now.

Her mother was the second to go, Richard's fate having been sealed by a second heart attack – just 6 short years before Emily made her departure. Though truth be told Lorelai was surprised her mother had lasted that long, as strong as Emily might've been in her life it was always clear that she was a wife first. Fighting between them had gotten worse and with Rory constantly away with work Lorelai took it upon herself to spend less time with her mother then she already had. Of course now thinking about that – Lorelai felt ashamed. Thinking of the time she spent with her mother in those last few years Lorelai didn't remember much but she remembered how much weight her mother had lost. Not enough powder in the world was able to hide the fact that without her husband Emily Gilmore was slowly vanishing into herself; her event planning, and social gatherings being the only threads that kept her connected to the real world. Threads that were gradually cut with every ounce of strength the woman lost just to simply get out of bed every morning.

_Devastating_

Lorelai would catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror, it had taken her a few years to realize that age was catching up with her but she had accepted it with grace…..Okay so There WAS one messy situation with brunette hair dye that Luke will never ever let her live down but the fixture was only temporary and now the various strands of silver shining through Lorelai's hair though dominating now seemed rather dim in the lighting of the place, of course everything was dim here. At least that hasn't changed.

Lorelai then released an aggravated groan; maybe she was wrong to come here alone? Even now she felt her reserve start to wither – where were her rocks? Where were Rory and Luke?

_At home where you left them _

Of course, she had told them both for days after the service that she was doing this alone – boy did she feel stupid now. Well she might as well start.

She started with the living room, having no patience or immediate care of the expensive knick knacks her parents had left behind – hell, the knick knacks were the first to go easily swept into boxes, and the boxes promptly taped up and stacked. She repeated this action in every single room on the bottom floor until finally she climbed the stairs her hand resting firmly on her mother's bedroom door. A deep sigh – she could do this. Pushing into the room she swallowed down the lump that formed in her throat.

"Feels like a stupid mausoleum in here."

Those were the only words Lorelai had to say before she made quick to start shuffling through drawers and tossing everything she found into boxes uncaring of the content or purpose of the items found – except one. An envelope with Lorelai's name clearly written on the front

"Oh god" Lorelai couldn't speak, her hands trembled – she remembered her grandmother dying, and feeling the way she felt when Emily had read the letter from Richard's mother clearly saying that Richard shouldn't marry the woman. Lorelai then wondered -was every Gilmore girl destined to leave behind a letter like this? Not wanting to dread or fear the envelope, Lorelai opened it with just a little more vigour then she thought she could muster and unfolded the letter inside.

_Lorelai:_

_With your father passing, it is almost unbearable to think of the type of life I am left to lead. This house is empty without him, the social events, the gatherings – everything I take pride in now means absolutely nothing. I've dreaded this day for years always knowing in the back of my mind that in the end I was destined to be alone. I screwed up with you, I pushed you away. I needlessly but always placed social status before your feelings – I see this now and am so sorry. Rory was such a great kid, always sweet and respectful and she is everything she is today because of you and I wish I had been there to see more in her younger years. With this tragedy I am left heartbroken and envious; envious of you, and the life you have. You will never be without company or support, everything you need will always be right where you need it to be – you're rich in that sense and the luckiest woman I know. These are words I should be saying to your face, words I'm sure you've been wanting to hear more then the few times I briefly let you in. _

_Lorelai, I love you, I'm proud of you and Rory, and again I'm so sorry for everything. In time I pray that you will one day forgive me. _

_Love;_

_Mom_

She didn't need to re-read it, even though she really wanted to. Those words – meant so much to Lorelai and the reality of everything happening around her finally settled in. She cried then and there until she couldn't anymore and only when she felt composed enough to stand did she put everything down and leave. The cold air seemed to hit Lorelai's face like a hard slap when she shut the door behind her; she started walking towards her car though not really watching where she was going. It wasn't until she collided with a warm solid surface did she look up, strong arms circling around her in a protective hug.

"Luke" she mumbled, and buried her face further into his chest trying to disappear. A second pair of arms finding her then, much smaller but just as warm

"Rory"

Lorelai stood there for what seemed like hours just soaking in the love she felt, forcing it to replace the sadness that had overwhelmed her back inside. When she finally stepped back and looked to the two she still had tears in her eyes and she could see that Rory did as well.

"You guys followed me" she said lightly.

"Of course" Rory said "I know we said we wouldn't, but we had to."

"She's not wrong" Luke said.

"How long have you been standing out here?" Lorelai had to ask, and Rory gave a little shrug – Luke easing his hands into his coat pockets.

"A while" Luke admitted "Maybe 20 minutes, Rory was actually heading in when you came running out."

"Oh" Lorelai smiled, and without needing to ask she fell right back into both of their arms the second hug longer and tighter.

"How did you know?" She asked, and Rory's voice was soft and quick to answer.

"We had a feeling."

It was amazing having both of them here, Lorelai felt stronger now, and capable. Right here in this driveway was everything she had ever wanted in her entire life – and she felt so lucky to have it. Her family and everything else meant nothing the past was finally the past, and even though she knew it was going to take a lot of time and tears Lorelai was certain that everything was going to be okay, just like Emily wanted it to be.


End file.
